Learning Curves.
Oct. 23rd, 2004 12:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
palace_seanEric lay on his bed, pretending to read a book as he waited for Sean to arrive. After he had read the same page four times he cast the book aside, looking up at the ceiling as he waited for his lover to arrive. A little flicker of excitement crept up into his stomach as he thought about Sean, his Sean .
Pulling on his shirt collar, Sean bought up his other hand and knocked briefly on the door. Was it always like this, he wondered? Feeling so awkward and nervous? He hoped not as the butterflies in his stomach and the fine tension in every muscle couldn't possibly be good for him. But every time he contemplated the very idea of Eric, they happened. They were a different kind of nerves from the ones he remembered suffering during the initial stages of his relationship with Marton, but still.....scary thought. He coughed to clear his throat when he heard footsteps approaching the door and looked up eagerly as the chink of light around the frame widened.
Eric jumped off the bed as he heard the quiet knock on the door, feeling embarrassed at his reaction. He walked quickly over to the door, pulling it open and hoping that outside stood the person who he desperately wanted it to be. The door inched open and he saw Sean standing there, a slight flutter in his stomach as he set eyes upon his lover. "Hey you" he said fondly, leaning in to brush a kiss on his lips, "Come in."
Mouth tingling from the kiss and aching for more, Sean moved smoothly past Eric and into the room. He stopped, waiting for the door to close before he swung around, his eyes meeting the dark liquid of Eric's and locking, his breath halting in his chest for a split second before he consciously reminded himself to breathe. "Hey." he said. His hands were hanging by his sides and he didn't know what to do with them, so they opened and closed in futile motion. Eric took a step toward him and Sean found his feet doing the same. Their bodies bumped together and his hands finally had a purpose. This was much better.
Eric wrapped an arm around Sean's waist, pulling him in closer, making the two men press tightly against one another. Eric sighed happily, basking in the glow of having Sean so near to him again, reaching forward and claiming Sean's mouth, kissing properly for the first time that night.
Sean pressed back against Eric nearly hard enough to unbalance them and moaned into the kiss. His scent, the feel of him, so solid and so real against him was addictive and his fingers tangled in the crisp curls of his lover's hair, curving around to cup the back of his head. He could have stayed just like this all night and it was with mounting reluctance that he broke the kiss with a sigh, stepping back just far enough to make speech possible and giving Eric a rueful smile. "You wanted to see me?" he invited.
"Yeah... yeah i did." Eric said, not entirely sure how to begin this conversation. He was tempted to just say forget it, that they didn't need to talk about this, but he knew that was untrue. The sooner they addressed this, the better it would be.
He sat down on the bed, motioning for Sean to follow, "Me and Viggo..." he began, "We had a conversation the other day, and Marton was brought up. I just... I just wondered when you were going to tell me what has happened between you two, because its obvious that something has changed."
To say he felt surprised was an understatement. It had never occurred to him that this was something he should be sharing with Eric. This relationship business certainly was a learning curve, he thought. "I, umm, yeah." he said, taking Eric up on his invitation and sitting down beside him. "Sorry." he said with a shake of his head. "I just never . . . I didn't think. Marton ended it." he finished the rambling spill of words with a shrug.
Marton ended it? Eric was surprised, he had sort of thought, but never fully expected that to be the case. Marton obviously had Sean's best interests at heart. "And how do you feel about that?" Eric asked, sliding his hand into Sean's and squeezing reassuringly.
Looking down at the hand holding his, Sean shrugged again. "I dunno." he confessed. "I was confused to start with, I mean, he explained it, but it just didn't seem right. Now? I guess . . ." his voice trailed off. He'd had so much to think about lately that he'd had little time to devote to Marton's decision and hadn't sorted his feelings out at all. "I just accepted it." he said, looking back up into the luminous brown eyes. "I suppose it's okay." It was more a question than a statement as he really was unable to give voice to his growing confusion.
"You suppose its ok? Is that what you really think? I'm not getting at you Sean, i'm just a little concerned that you didn't say anything about it. Have you given it any real thought since it happened?" Eric suddenly wanted to wrap his arms around Sean and hold him tight. "Because when we got together, I never expected you and Marton to stop your nights together."
Leaning into toward the warm sound of Eric's voice, Sean bit his bottom lip and pulled a face. "Haven't had a chance, have I?" he complained mildly. "And I didn't expect this . . . us, to change anything either." He slid over a little closer. "Sorry I didn't mention it," he added, his voice a little gruff. "just not used to this."
Eric smiled soothingly, brushing his lips against Sean's cheek, "I know..." he said, pulling back to look at his lover properly, "But maybe now is the time to be thinking about what Marton said to you, and if that is what you want."
"Not like I have a choice." Sean muttered almost to himself. Louder, he continued with the thought. "He didn't give me a choice. Said that you and I needed all the time we could get," he shot Eric a look from beneath his fringe that was ripe with amusement, "me being so hopeless at this stuff and all."
Eric grinned, "I like you hopeless. It's very endearing."
Sean swatted at him and grinned back. "It's really not worth talking about." he said. "Not Marton's side of it anyway and not in relation to what I might want." He leaned back on his elbows and stared off into middle distance. "I know that tone of voice. Decision final. Even if I wanted it to be different, Marton's not going to budge."
Eric dodged Sean's hand, leaning back unconsciously to echo Sean, smiling to himself. "And what about Marton?" Eric sighed, turning serious again, "Do you think its what he wants, or is he only doing what he thinks is best?" He could be ruining his own happiness for mine Eric thought guiltily, and if that is the case then I don't really know how I feel about that .
Sean considered the notion. While the reason Marton had given him, with thought, really didn't ring true, he couldn't think of anything else it might be. Trying to be honest about what he was thinking and feeling was difficult, not only because he wasn't used to it but also because he had trouble articulating them. Still . . . "Bit of both?" he ventured. "I really don't know. I was bloody clueless then and I'm still bloody clueless. The more I think about it, the worse it gets." He rolled on his side so he could look at Eric as if that might help. "I love Marton." he told him. "Didn't to start with. To start with, it was business. But I love him and I know he loves me, it's just . . ." he grimaced as he struggled. "I can't see why. Why'd it have to change? I don't get it."
"Well maybe its something you need to talk to him about" Eric said diplomatically, "Even if you're sure he won't change his mind about anything, it would still clarify where you both are in this. " Eric rested a hand on Sean's thigh, rubbing softly, "That is, if you want to of course."
Sean was getting distracted by Eric's hand, but he managed a grin. "Don't see the point of banging my head against a brick wall." he said. "And, believe me, Marton is a solid brick wall when he wants to be." He slid a little closer to Eric, the bed covers rucking up beneath him as he moved. "I just have to take it at face value, I guess. Assume that Marton's got his reasons and that they're best for both of us." He shrugged, lifting one hand to Eric's waist he batted his eyelashes in his best schoolgirl fashion. "Shouldn't we be doing as the King suggests?" he dimpled. "Using our free time together in wise ways?"
Eric grinned, "And what exactly are those wise ways? Care to show me?"
Sean did.
Pulling on his shirt collar, Sean bought up his other hand and knocked briefly on the door. Was it always like this, he wondered? Feeling so awkward and nervous? He hoped not as the butterflies in his stomach and the fine tension in every muscle couldn't possibly be good for him. But every time he contemplated the very idea of Eric, they happened. They were a different kind of nerves from the ones he remembered suffering during the initial stages of his relationship with Marton, but still.....scary thought. He coughed to clear his throat when he heard footsteps approaching the door and looked up eagerly as the chink of light around the frame widened.
Eric jumped off the bed as he heard the quiet knock on the door, feeling embarrassed at his reaction. He walked quickly over to the door, pulling it open and hoping that outside stood the person who he desperately wanted it to be. The door inched open and he saw Sean standing there, a slight flutter in his stomach as he set eyes upon his lover. "Hey you" he said fondly, leaning in to brush a kiss on his lips, "Come in."
Mouth tingling from the kiss and aching for more, Sean moved smoothly past Eric and into the room. He stopped, waiting for the door to close before he swung around, his eyes meeting the dark liquid of Eric's and locking, his breath halting in his chest for a split second before he consciously reminded himself to breathe. "Hey." he said. His hands were hanging by his sides and he didn't know what to do with them, so they opened and closed in futile motion. Eric took a step toward him and Sean found his feet doing the same. Their bodies bumped together and his hands finally had a purpose. This was much better.
Eric wrapped an arm around Sean's waist, pulling him in closer, making the two men press tightly against one another. Eric sighed happily, basking in the glow of having Sean so near to him again, reaching forward and claiming Sean's mouth, kissing properly for the first time that night.
Sean pressed back against Eric nearly hard enough to unbalance them and moaned into the kiss. His scent, the feel of him, so solid and so real against him was addictive and his fingers tangled in the crisp curls of his lover's hair, curving around to cup the back of his head. He could have stayed just like this all night and it was with mounting reluctance that he broke the kiss with a sigh, stepping back just far enough to make speech possible and giving Eric a rueful smile. "You wanted to see me?" he invited.
"Yeah... yeah i did." Eric said, not entirely sure how to begin this conversation. He was tempted to just say forget it, that they didn't need to talk about this, but he knew that was untrue. The sooner they addressed this, the better it would be.
He sat down on the bed, motioning for Sean to follow, "Me and Viggo..." he began, "We had a conversation the other day, and Marton was brought up. I just... I just wondered when you were going to tell me what has happened between you two, because its obvious that something has changed."
To say he felt surprised was an understatement. It had never occurred to him that this was something he should be sharing with Eric. This relationship business certainly was a learning curve, he thought. "I, umm, yeah." he said, taking Eric up on his invitation and sitting down beside him. "Sorry." he said with a shake of his head. "I just never . . . I didn't think. Marton ended it." he finished the rambling spill of words with a shrug.
Marton ended it? Eric was surprised, he had sort of thought, but never fully expected that to be the case. Marton obviously had Sean's best interests at heart. "And how do you feel about that?" Eric asked, sliding his hand into Sean's and squeezing reassuringly.
Looking down at the hand holding his, Sean shrugged again. "I dunno." he confessed. "I was confused to start with, I mean, he explained it, but it just didn't seem right. Now? I guess . . ." his voice trailed off. He'd had so much to think about lately that he'd had little time to devote to Marton's decision and hadn't sorted his feelings out at all. "I just accepted it." he said, looking back up into the luminous brown eyes. "I suppose it's okay." It was more a question than a statement as he really was unable to give voice to his growing confusion.
"You suppose its ok? Is that what you really think? I'm not getting at you Sean, i'm just a little concerned that you didn't say anything about it. Have you given it any real thought since it happened?" Eric suddenly wanted to wrap his arms around Sean and hold him tight. "Because when we got together, I never expected you and Marton to stop your nights together."
Leaning into toward the warm sound of Eric's voice, Sean bit his bottom lip and pulled a face. "Haven't had a chance, have I?" he complained mildly. "And I didn't expect this . . . us, to change anything either." He slid over a little closer. "Sorry I didn't mention it," he added, his voice a little gruff. "just not used to this."
Eric smiled soothingly, brushing his lips against Sean's cheek, "I know..." he said, pulling back to look at his lover properly, "But maybe now is the time to be thinking about what Marton said to you, and if that is what you want."
"Not like I have a choice." Sean muttered almost to himself. Louder, he continued with the thought. "He didn't give me a choice. Said that you and I needed all the time we could get," he shot Eric a look from beneath his fringe that was ripe with amusement, "me being so hopeless at this stuff and all."
Eric grinned, "I like you hopeless. It's very endearing."
Sean swatted at him and grinned back. "It's really not worth talking about." he said. "Not Marton's side of it anyway and not in relation to what I might want." He leaned back on his elbows and stared off into middle distance. "I know that tone of voice. Decision final. Even if I wanted it to be different, Marton's not going to budge."
Eric dodged Sean's hand, leaning back unconsciously to echo Sean, smiling to himself. "And what about Marton?" Eric sighed, turning serious again, "Do you think its what he wants, or is he only doing what he thinks is best?" He could be ruining his own happiness for mine Eric thought guiltily, and if that is the case then I don't really know how I feel about that .
Sean considered the notion. While the reason Marton had given him, with thought, really didn't ring true, he couldn't think of anything else it might be. Trying to be honest about what he was thinking and feeling was difficult, not only because he wasn't used to it but also because he had trouble articulating them. Still . . . "Bit of both?" he ventured. "I really don't know. I was bloody clueless then and I'm still bloody clueless. The more I think about it, the worse it gets." He rolled on his side so he could look at Eric as if that might help. "I love Marton." he told him. "Didn't to start with. To start with, it was business. But I love him and I know he loves me, it's just . . ." he grimaced as he struggled. "I can't see why. Why'd it have to change? I don't get it."
"Well maybe its something you need to talk to him about" Eric said diplomatically, "Even if you're sure he won't change his mind about anything, it would still clarify where you both are in this. " Eric rested a hand on Sean's thigh, rubbing softly, "That is, if you want to of course."
Sean was getting distracted by Eric's hand, but he managed a grin. "Don't see the point of banging my head against a brick wall." he said. "And, believe me, Marton is a solid brick wall when he wants to be." He slid a little closer to Eric, the bed covers rucking up beneath him as he moved. "I just have to take it at face value, I guess. Assume that Marton's got his reasons and that they're best for both of us." He shrugged, lifting one hand to Eric's waist he batted his eyelashes in his best schoolgirl fashion. "Shouldn't we be doing as the King suggests?" he dimpled. "Using our free time together in wise ways?"
Eric grinned, "And what exactly are those wise ways? Care to show me?"
Sean did.
